by Keiyana McIntosh on March 8, 2023
It has been passed down from generation to that a black woman identifies with being angry, but if that were true, has anyone stopped to think of why black women would resonate with that emotion?
Oftentimes, black women have carried their communities and homes with grace and strength without appreciation, simply because they’re expected to do so. Black women have seen and fought for equality in the home, workplace, political rights, social settings, and much more. Even to this day, we have experienced seeing our sisters being beaten and killed. So, forgive us if we’ve grown tired of feeling unseen, unheard, and unappreciated. Our passion may appear as anger, but it’s simply that we love hard and always put others' needs before our own because that’s just how we’re built.
However, there’s a new era that black women are finally choosing to walk in, a peaceful life. We’ve finally realized that it takes more energy trying to be everything to everybody. We can’t continue nurturing families and communities from a dry well while carrying the burdens of our own and others. The soft life gives us the freedom to live a life that the system believes we’re undeserving of.
Some may think that the soft life is merely a trend, but we’re committed to making it a lifestyle. Black women are coming for their healing, wealth, health, dreams, and much more! You better believe that when a black woman has her mind made up she can achieve anything. Society can keep their ignorant thinking of a black woman always being angry because we no longer give in to the lie that was meant to perceive our presence as negative.
Living a soft life is similar to self-care, but instead of basking in a temporary luxury, you’re intentional about creating a life of comfort and less stress. For those who are wondering what living softly looks like, we’ll be diving into some options for you to begin applying.
First, to change anything in your life you must change your mindset. Instead of being hard on yourself, situations, and others, start practicing grace. If you are doing the best with what you have then that’s all you can ask for. Being gentle with ourselves mentally and verbally first allows us to be more sincere with others, and see the light in every obstacle.
With our head in the right space, it gives a sense of relief to then let go of the need of being in control of everything. Once that happens, that weight that every black woman feels will begin to lift, and it’ll be easier for you to be present at the moment. You’ll start to appreciate life more and not be in a rush. You’ll be open to receiving help instead of feeling as if the weight of the world is on your back.
Living the soft life has always been within our reach, we’ve just been afraid to accept that we deserve better than to struggle. A soft life may look different from woman to woman. Some see the soft life as a luxury living, and others may see it as healing and peaceful. Whichever your view is, know that you are worthy of it despite what you’ve experienced.
To accomplish this new life, you must be willing to let go of people, places, habits, and things that will hinder you from enjoying a good life. We have all been guilty of holding onto others and things longer than needed. Truthfully, most people had no business having access to us, to begin with.
Use this chance to break free of generational curses placed on black women and within your bloodline. Go to therapy, embrace a healthy community of sisterhood, travel, and do the things necessary that will fill you with joy daily. Stop looking to the world to validate what we can and cannot do and become who God created us to be.
Black women are the cause of many accomplishments in the world's history. If others get to freely enjoy the fruit of our ancestor's labor, then so should we. Therefore, I encourage us to rise as the Queens we were destined to be. Do not allow your environment to have the final say so in your livelihood. Change the scenario.
In 2023, we will no longer play or live small. We are leaving the past behind to encounter the love we desire, friends we can grow with, careers we love, and pampering. With today being Women's International Day, let us celebrate this new walk of life. Cheers to coming a mighty long way, and being stronger for it!